(Sigh) Because emotions aren't rational, least of all fear in its many forms. Vertigo can bring about the fall one fears, and insomnia over the prospect of problems is likely to cause them.
In your situation, perhaps the best thing to do is pass into the acceptance stage before the problems even happen. At least you should sleep better that way.
But I pray that you reach a better solution.
This makes me think of an old Chinese fable.
A man travelling through the country came to a large city, very rich and splendid; he looked at it and said to his guide, This must be a very righteous people, for I can only see but one little devil in this great city.
The guide replied, You do not understand, sir. This city is so perfectly given up to wickedness, corruption, degradation, and abomination of every kind, that it requires but one devil to keep them all in subjection.
Travelling on a little further, he came to a rugged path and saw an old man trying to get up the hill side, surrounded by seven great, big, coarse looking devils.
Why, says the traveller, This must be a tremendously wicked old man! Only see how many devils there are around him!
This, replied the guide, is the only righteous man in the country; and there are seven of the biggest devils trying to turn him out of his path, and they all cannot do it.
[Originally told by George Albert Smith in 1857]
If you are struggling with obstacles and challenges, it is only God asking you to grow. The more challenges you have, the greater potential for growth God sees in you. (I'm listening to myself talk here, as well, by the way). How much power we could have over our own lives if each day we awoke with the attitude, "Wow! I can't wait to see what the Lord throws at me today!"
May you have peace even in the midst of trials.
Thanks old Wolf. :) It's very interesting you should explain it in this way, because a few months ago one of our junior preachers said much the same thing.
Our pastor has recently recovered from hospital after a serious car accident earlier this year. While he was waiting at a red light a houligan travelling at excessive speed rear-ended him, instantly destroying our pastor's car and also bringing it into a collision with the car queued ahead, which ironically belonged to another of our church folk.
In summing up our junior preacher said "Well we must be doing something right, because Satan has really got it in for us."
I think C.S. Lewis would disagree on that point. He held that because Satan wants souls more than lives, the forces of hell are more likely to protect the lives of good people, hoping to corrupt them before they die.
I'm afraid I just can't see the logic in that. If Satan protected the lives of good people then the world would be a paradise. There would be no entity inflicting harm.
When Christ's disciples saw a blind man they asked what wicked things this man or his parents had done that brought about the blindness. Christ replied that it was not brought about by any actions of the man or his parents. It was because "sin is in the world."
Well, it's not like devils always succeed, especially considering who's against them. And blindness is a far cry from death, which supposedly cuts off any future chances to turn to or from God.
This view is manifested in The Screwtape Letters. Senior devil Screwtape tells his nephew Wormwood not to be happy about the war just yet, because the soul that Wormwood is trying to corrupt and claim could easily die too soon for that to happen.
We might also consider the Book of Job, in which Satan hits Job with just about every misery short of his death, hoping to get him to forsake God.
That being the case then it's clear the devil(s) aren't "protecting" people but merely stopping short of killing them. Therefore the ideals of our church's junior preacher, and that of Old Wolf talking about me seem to fit.
That being said, it can be argued that Satan and his agents certainly do kill people, as you'll recall from the story of Job that he killed all of Job's children. The bible doesn't state what age they were (they could have been as old as 60 for all we know) but if they were very young then they could have been innocent.
I don't know about you, but I do it because I'm just too lazy to put the computer away and go to bed. You've probably got better reasons for it, though.
I think it's more likely what Deckard Canine says about emotions not being rational. I'm far too emotional for my own good. I don't know whether it's genetic or environmental, or a combination of the two, but I'm enslaved to my feelings, both the positive and the negative.
And again like DC has pointed out, it can be a vicious cycle. I need to focus on the positive a lot more. I've performed well at work, during very trying times. That's a good thing.