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And now for no reason at all... - Stephan [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Stephan

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And now for no reason at all... [Mar. 25th, 2009|10:40 pm]
Stephan
Reading through the customer service jokes that Old Wolf directed we LJ users to (http://notalwaysright.com/), it conjured up a memory of something that happened to me while I was living at Gosford on the Central Coast. Although not a customer service situation per sae, it has much the same ring to it - someone trying to be civil to a comlete moron.

Now Gosford has always been a wierd city. Spike Milligan lived at Woy Woy for a while (10 minutes north of Gosford) and described the Central Coast as "The world's only above-ground cemetary" meaning that it's largely a retirement community. A huge portion of Gosford's working community commute into Sydney (including one foxaroo at the time), with retail jobs taking up the bulk of what is left. The remainder are mostly unemployed layabouts, which explains why the main city hasn't developed economically much in 50 years while the sattelite townships of Erina, Terrigal and Tuggerah are growing large enough to chew Gosford city up in one bite and spit it out.

One night somewhere back in 1997-2000 it was 11:30pm and unusually I was sitting up reading, wheras normally I'd have been in bed for at least an hour and just starting to drift off to sleep. There was a loud nock at the door. I was in a fatigued stupor, but thankfully I had the security chain latched up. At the instant I opened the door I could smell beer breath.

In the near darkness outside was a close approximate of a human being, round in both the jowels and the belly. When my kitchen light illuminated his face he threw his arms wide and cheered "HULLO!!"

My response was cartoonishly perfect in-character for my foxaroo fursona. I let some air escape through my teeth and asked "Can I help you?"

He looked at me quizzically and then made a turn-the-key gesture with his hand saying "Well come on, let me in."

In my sleep-deprived state I began to move forward to release the security chain so that I could open the door and conduct the conversation properly. Thankfully I snapped out of the trance within that mllisecond of poor judgement and then put to him the obvious question "WHO ARE YOU?"

He again looked at me quizzically and replied "Oh, it's all-right! I'm with Dale!"

The name meant absolutely nothing to me. I shook my head and said "I think you're at the wrong address."

He looked over to the road and then back again, saying "Nah, this is Dale's place."

"No it isn't" I replied.

I forget the next few lines of dialogue, but somewhere through them I figured he must be looking for someone nearby. I then asked "Are you looking for David?"

He brightened instantly. "Yeah! Dave and Dale!"

I figured that my next-door-neighbour must have taken in a lodger or something. I pointed my finger toward the left of my doorway and explained "David lives in the next flat!"

"Oh... um... thank you." He started to walk away, then turned to look back at me, with that same quizzical expression as before. I simply closed the door, and decided that since the possums were probably the only intelligent life outside it was probably time for me to do what both the diurnal and crepuscular mammals were doing at that point - I went to sleep.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: deckardcanine
2009-03-25 02:33 pm (UTC)
Those are quite some stories on that site -- most of them worse than the one you told.

There's an LJ community called Customers Suck that I've seen referenced a few times. Unfortunately, some participants seem to get annoyed at customers just for existing.
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[User Picture]From: thefoxaroo
2009-03-25 09:20 pm (UTC)
deckardcanine said:"Those are quite some stories on that site -- most of them worse than the one you told.",
I would hope that none of the stories on that website are things that I'm ever likely to experience - I'd go insane (some people might say that's already happened though). All I can describe are things that have happened to myself.

It just never ceases to astonish me how many homosapien sub-species are out there, including the ones you meet in person. Maybe I'd get more out of the experiences if I'd studied psychology. Then again maybe that would make them less interesting. Hmmm.
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